JOB POSTING

I've been perusing the ads on craigslist, looking for potential baby sitters, nanny's or a combination of the two. It's hard to look at other people's advertisements - their discription of the perfect job for them, and not think about how I could find my own "perfect job". I've got a few in mind. One of the following just may end up on craigslist or monster.com:

WITTY PROFESSIONAL AVAILABLE FOR LITE HEARTED BANTER AND MAGAZINE READING
I am an educated (college plus 3) professional, experienced in court room drama, research, writing, negotiating and some (minor) computer skills looking for work as a person who sits at a table in a cafe, reading magazine's, drinking coffee and commenting on the world in general. I am intelligent, personable and verbose, and promise much witty banter. If there is a subject that I must comment upon that I have no earthly idea about, I am diligent enough to just wing it and make stuff up.
Prefer hours between 10:30 am and 3:00 pm. Rates negotiable but must be 6 figure salary.

TELEVISION SUMMARIZER AVAILABLE 4 TO 5 DAYS PER WEEK
Professional experienced in research, writing and big fan of Matt Lauer and HGTV available to watch your television for you and leave you a note telling you what you missed. Avaliable Monday thru Friday, mid day only.

BLOGGER AVAILABLE
I'll write posts on your site for big $$. If I do not know the subject matter, I'll read someone elses blog and then add a few one liners of my own and post that. Blogging rates negotiable.